Matthew’s birth story 🧸

In my 37th week of pregnancy I was getting anxious about the birth. I decided to skip ahead in the God Calling devotional and see what it says for Matthew’s due date, October 28th.

“Delightful Surprises:

Our Lord, we know that all is well. We trust You for everything. We love You more and more. We bow to Your will.

Do not bow like someone who is resigned to receiving some heavy blow which is about to fall, or to receiving some inevitable bad news.

Bow like a child bows, in anticipation of a delightful surprise being prepared for him by someone who loves him.

Bow this way, just waiting to hear Me lovingly tell you to look up, and see the glory and joy and wonder of your surprise”.

Our little surprise, Matthew, meaning “Gift of God”. What a fitting devotional for his due date. I took it as a promise that he will be born on that exact day and re-read it daily.

Fast forward to October 27th, it was 6pm and I was driving to my parents house for our weekly Sunday dinner.

As I was driving I felt like I was suddenly sitting on Matthew’s head. Did he just “drop”? I couldn’t tell what that feeling was and assumed it was just gas. Over the course of dinner it was getting increasingly uncomfortable but I didn’t think much of it. I started heading home at 8pm and decided to start timing these waves of “gas” on the contraction app.

I got home and timed a few contractions.

“It’s time to go to the hospital”, the app alerted me.

I assumed it was a mistake. This app had ads in between timing, must be inaccurate, but decided to tell Dennis he should call the midwife. I heard him upstairs recording his closing sentence a few times. It took him about 5 minutes and I walked in to tell him.

“Are you serious?? It’s happening??”

“I mean I think so, I feel something and the app is telling me it’s time to go to the hospital. The contractions are 1 minute long and 3 minutes apart and have been happening for about an hour now”.

He excitedly called the emergency number for the midwife and she told us to wait until I can’t talk through them. So I decided to sit in the bath, listen to worship music and pray.

About an hour later the contractions started getting more intense so I got into the bed and we called one more time.

“How were your mother’s labors? Were they quick?”

“No they weren’t quick” I told Dennis who relayed it to her. I was having to focus on each contraction now.

“It’s just a little confusing that you’re having consistent contractions but you’re able to communicate with me. Can you try sleeping it off”?

“Definitely can’t sleep it off”

Am I really going to have to give birth at home? I felt like she was gaslighting me. She did live an hour away and it was almost midnight so I didn’t blame her for wanting to make sure.

Finally, she agreed to meet in an hour at the birth center so I continued lying in bed.

I took deep breaths through each contraction, and imagined that I’ll be meeting my son soon. I looked at the window to help pass the time and watched as the neighborhood raccoon did his nightly walk across the fence, his little family of four following closely behind.

It was finally time to go and we arrived at the birthing center at 11:45pm. The midwife and her student were there, ready to greet us.

I got into the bed and she said she won’t start the bath until after she checks me because I’ll most likely have to be sent back home.

At this point my deep breathing is becoming more audible and not internal. She was surprised to see that I was 8cm dilated and started the bath.

Before getting in, my mucus plug came out and I knew I was in active labor at this point. Once I got in, the contractions kept increasing every hour. I gripped the side of the tub and squeezed Dennis’s hand, getting more and more vocal.

“If there’s anything you need just let me know ok?” He said for the one hundredth time.

“Please shut up”, I barely responded back. Immediately feeling bad because I’ve never said that to him before.

For some reason I had it in my mind that I only need to do this until 6am and I’ll get to meet Matthew. Our delightful surprise.

I glanced at the clock and it was 2am. A few more hours to go.

I changed positions and sat with my back against the wall of the tub and knees pulled up.

“Internalize your screams, bear them down and out to help push him” the student coached me.

I tucked my chin in instead of up and tried internalizing them but had a hard time understanding how to do it and ended up losing my voice.

“Labor of love, labor of love, labor of love” kept repeating in my head.

The contractions were so intense now, I felt them physically pushing him down on their own. I even thought how incredible this feeling is that my body is pushing our baby out and “all” I have to do is push.

I felt his little kicks pushing off during a contraction, “Come out Matthew, come out”. Dennis stroked my hair and it actually felt nice. I thought I would be irritated by any touch.

In between contractions I had moments of complete bliss and forgot about the next one coming. I was dripping sweat and shivering at the same time. I couldn’t help but imagine how amazing it’s going to feel to shower after all this and lie in a warm bed with our baby.

Around 4:30am the student midwife checked his heart rate again and said it was dropping. I got out of the tub and labored on the toilet. The midwife told me to get on the bed so she can check where he is.

She felt his head but my water wasn’t broken yet, she asked me if she could break it and I agreed. The intensity of the contractions didn’t change and I kept pushing but now on all fours.

“If you feel like you have to poop, it’s the baby” when she told me that I felt the encouragement to go all in with the pushing. But his heart rate wasn’t stable.

I heard them calling the ambulance to start a transfer to the hospital for a worst case scenario. I was unaware of this at the moment but they had the defibrillators out and ready. I felt Dennis’s distress as he put his forehead to mine and prayed over me and Matthew before stepping out of the room to call both of our parents to pray.

When the ambulance arrived I heard the midwife tell them to give us 15 minutes because it seems like his heart rate is getting better.

In this moment I remembered a dream I had about a year ago that I was giving birth to a boy and I squatted and caught him in my arms but there was something wrong with his breathing and umbilical cord. As soon as I held him everything was ok and my grandmother that recently passed away was there helping me take care of him.

This gave me reassurance that I’ll meet him soon and everything will be ok. I remembered the devotional for this day, “Bow this way, just waiting to hear Me lovingly tell you to look up, and see the glory and joy and wonder of your surprise.”

“I want to try squatting” I told the midwife. I got out of the bed and did a half squat, “can you go lower”? I nodded and adjusted to a deep squat.

I held my breath and pushed through each contraction and they told me they see his head. The midwife put a mirror down but I couldn’t see him from that angle.

They checked his heart rate before the medics walked in and it was dropping again.

“We have to go now”, they told me. I felt defeated.

They brought in the stretcher and covered me in a robe. Before getting in I squatted one more time and pushed through another contraction.

The midwife was with me on the way to the hospital and I continued pushing with everything I had and kept pushing as they rolled me through the hospital. For some reason I felt instant relief during the transfer, knowing I’m about to meet our son.

I heard them say they got to the wrong floor and had to go back down to another level. We finally got to Labor and Delivery and I got transferred to the bed. My midwife was there with her two students, several nurses and the doctor.

They hooked me up with IVs and they continued to monitor Matthew’s heart beat. The nurse was asking me questions and I would scream and push through a contraction, “oh you’re in active labor! I thought you were just starting”

I was lying on my side and she told me I can change positions and get out of the bed if I wanted to.

There’s no way I’m moving now, I thought to myself.

The doctor told me to push harder but not to push when I feel a stinging and not when I’m not contracting. I was so desperate to get him out and I didn’t know how much harder I can possibly push.

Will I ever actually meet him?

During this moment, Dennis later told me that he saw the doctor and nurse watching the heart monitor and then look at each other and shake their heads. His heart dropped as he prepared himself for the possibility of having a still born.

I continued pushing and heard everyone around me shouting “his head is coming out!” Dennis continued encouraging me and massaged my thigh while I had a muscle spasm from tensing so much.

I wasn’t going to allow this situation to escalate.

Within 5-10 minutes of being at the hospital, I pushed two more times and felt the tear before feeling him slip out of me.

Dennis saw the doctor remove the umbilical cord from around his chin and I heard Matthews cry immediately.

I opened my eyes as they handed him to me and instantly smiled at the sight of him and the little rolls on his arms.

“Matfey”, I said his name with instant relief that he’s ok and that he’s real. He wasn’t just a figment of my imagination. He was finally birthed and here in my arms.

I looked up at Dennis and was taken aback by the intense tears streaming down his face. He held my head in his chest and said, “I thought we lost him… I thought we lost him. You’re my hero”.

Tears welled in my eyes because I didn’t know the stress that he was going through and how scary that must have been for him.

I looked over and saw the nurse write “birth time, 5:37am. Date: 10/28/24”. Almost at that 6 o’clock time that I expected and a due date baby as promised.

It turned out that the umbilical cord was pulling him back up every time I tried pushing him out and was causing stress on his little body. He would’ve been birthed sooner if it wasn’t for that back and forth struggle.

Matthew was born 6lbs 15oz and 19 3/4”.

We stayed at the hospital for about four hours before going home and adjusting to our new life as a family of three 🤍